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"Your account has recently been past due, overlimit, or has had a returned payment. Based on this we have adjusted your A.P.R. as previously disclosed. Please keep your account in good standing in the future to enable us to provide you with the best possible rates and level of service. We value you as our customer and appreciate your business.
Thank you for choosing Capital One."

"You have recently raised the annual percentage rate on my Capital One Platinum MasterCard Account after a single missed payment as well as having charged a late fee. This practice in essence penalizes me twice for the same transgression. Based on this I have decided to close the account (XXXX-XXXX-XXXX-XXXX) as previously undisclosed (but is my right as a consumer). Please change your policy on late fees and raising APR's to enable me to remain a customer should I decide to become one again in the future. I value you as a bank and appreciate your business.
Good bye, Capital One."

Dr. Phil: Gizmodo's new arch-nemesis
Dr. Phil just did a whole show yesterday afternoon about how to liberate yourself (or more specifically, your husband) from gadget addiction, which is about as close to heresy as you can get in our eyes (we can quit anytime we want, we swear!). If you really are suffering from gadget addiction, we do have one suggestion: Turn off Dr. Phil and schedule a visit with Dr. Gizmodo.